The end
by Harritsu
Summary: As Soji wandered the ruins, the sentence kept playing in his head. Not so long ago he had crawled on a dusty road, struggling to reach the place where Kondo was about to be executed. Now he was there, walking in what remained of the Aizu clan capitol.


**_Author note : Hello everyone !_**

 ** _I'm usually writing in french, but I wanted to try something in another language. A huge thank you to Fortune Maiden who kindly beta read this one-shot !_**

 ** _I was really inspired by the Aizu battle of the second movie and wanted to explore Soji's psyche during that scene._** ** _(so... Spoilers I guess ?)(And bad ending ahead...) Of course, this is my own vision of the character so your opinion might differ (Like the okichi stuff. Even without the romance tag, and even if it's set during the movie, I'm still putting romance everywhere (and especially between those two)... Someone stop me...) I h_** ** _ope you enjoy this !_**

 ** _Have fun reading !_**

 ** _I don't own Hakuouki or any of it's characters ! (But it would be soooo great...)_**

* * *

 _The end is near._

As Soji wandered the ruins, the sentence kept playing in his head.

Memories of the previous days were blurred, drowned in an inscrutable mist. Not so long ago he had crawled on a dusty road, struggling to reach the place where Kondo was about to be executed. Now he was there, walking in what remained of the Aizu clan capitol.

The castle was still there, silently watching its land wasting away under the endless roar of canons. Here and there, a few houses were miraculously intact, standing in the middle of the battlefield. Colorful and anonymous commas were half buried by fallen rocks where peoples onces used to be. Water was still flowing in the broken channels, making its way between the rubbles.

Everything was both silent and deafening.

A shell crashed just beside him, projecting dust and stones everywhere, ringing in his ears and bringing even more destruction. It felt right. For an unknown reason, everything felt right. The battle cries echoing in the empty streets, the clangs of blades, the howls of the guns… Even he, the lonely beast haunting the battlefield, belonged here.

Some had crossed his path, briefly. The meeting was always short. Aizu's soldiers thought he was a Satcho soldier. The Satcho soldiers thought he was an Aizu soldier. He simply thought that they were in his way. And since he was right…

His way to what, by the way?

Hijikata of course.

But to do what?

"To kill him" was the first answer to come, but it wavered as quickly as it came. Yes, it was the main reason… but it wasn't the only one. Others were hiding behind it, blurred, unclear and confused. They would eventually appear, at the end of the way... maybe. He wasn't sure, but why not… A path always led somewhere didn't it? Why would this one not? And why would he not follow it?

He had no real reason to keep going. But he didn't have any to stop either.

He just walked, both aware and absent, simply passing through the battlefield as one would stroll through a garden. His steps were slow, his gaze embracing the place, looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time. War aside, Aizu was beautiful; lost somewhere between the intensity of its last fragments of light and the sweetness of the upcoming darkness.

And so was he.

For an unknown reason, the roar of a Rasetsu suddenly caught his attention. Rasetsu were there, he knew it. He had killed many of them already, only because they were in the way. But this one seemed to call him. It was not a familiar voice. It was not even different from the others. But Soji followed it, his unsheathed blade glimmering in the gray light. It was the call of the prey and he was the hunter. The predator.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

As the beast collapsed before him with its last rumble, a small smirk appeared on the samurai's lips.

"Hajime-kun… One enemy behind you."

His katana pointed toward Soji, blue flames shining behind him, Saito slowly rose to his feet, surprised. The clothes consumed by the fire were oddly recognizable. Heisuke…

Soji should have been shocked by his disappearance, or at least moved, even a bit. But even with the memories of the young warrior flowing in his head, he couldn't manage to look concerned or even show that he had noticed. Heisuke's death was unfair and despairing. The lively and vibrant brat that they all watched grow was no more. Hell, he was officially dead before all of them. If they had been there, Harada and Shinpachi would have been devastated.

But Soji was next on the list.

If Heisuke was gone, then Sannan was too and since Hijikata was the last one to drink… It didn't take that much reflection to understand. How much time then? As much as their transformation was separated by…no, he shouldn't think about it.

More explosions echoed around them, blowing dust and fragments of wood. Saito didn't seem to care. He was certainly accustomed now. How long had he been there? Too long apparently. How odd must they have looked for an observer: two men talking casually in the middle of a raging battle as if it was normal for them. Well… maybe it was, now.

"Have you seen Hijikata-san?" Soji asked nonchalantly.

"Commander Hijikata went to Sendai."

Sendai wasn't really the closest place… It would have been more convenient if he was here. He would be a pain until the end, apparently. Well it wouldn't have been Hijikata-san otherwise.

"He abandoned everyone by slipping away…" Soji commented with a small smile. "How pathetic."

"It's not that. Commander Kondo entrusted the future of the Shinsengumi to him." Saito replied while easily dodging the strike of a new enemy.

They appeared out of nowhere, striking almost aimlessly. Not all of the rasetsu were as effective as he was apparently. But right now, Soji was barely paying attention. Saito's words reminded him of others, spoken not so long ago by a softer and gentler voice. Chizuru…

"Chizuru-chan also said the same thing…" He answered, fighting reflexively.

Each blow resonated trough his fingers and arms. Blood was splattering everywhere but oddly enough, he wasn't struck by the pain of desire. In fact, he was hardly feeling anything right now. No pain, no need, not even the once overwhelming feeling he usually felt when fighting. His body was moving by itself, slashing, dodging and killing like one would breathe. Cutting through the last opponent, he smiled as Chizuru's last words to him played once again in his head.

She seemed so concern about him, when he'd seen her. He was barely walking then, bent like an old man, his breathing pained and laborious. But at the moment their eyes met, the pain went away, at least for a moment. She stayed with him until the end, even though he was a desperate and unstable mess. When they heard the surprise of the crowd behind the hill and saw birds flying away, she looked as devastated as him. When he cursed and sweared on Hijikata's name, she just tried to prevent him from doing something bad. Even when he rejected her so cruelly, she just stared at him, her eyes filled with sorrow. She wasn't afraid of him. Not anymore. She had been at first, of course; she had been afraid of all of them. She knew perfectly that any of them would kill her if she stepped out the line. But before anyone noticed, she had become a part of their life. An important and irreplaceable part of their life. And so, when his eyes turned red to repulse her, the only feeling that filled her was concern.

They all loved her. From protective instinct, like Sano or Shinpachi, to burning and destructive passion like he. They all had felt something for her.

Yes, he loved her. He loved her so much he could (and would) have broken her. That was how things worked with him: he was always destroying everything, but not necessarily by killing; it would have been horribly more simple with her. He would have simply died, leaving her alone with all the unfinished dreams and projects they would have had the time to make.

He had been happy when she fell for Hijikata. It was better. For her.

Was she with him now? Did she find him after all?

"No one ever asked him about it…" He concluded wistfully.

"Eh… If it isn't Okita…"

Ah. He could still feel something after all.

"You're still fighting…"

Hate.

So pure and vibrant; it drew a smile across his lips. Turning slowly, his infernal gaze met another one. The kid was so similar to Chizuru… it just made him even more hateful. As if every gift humanity was blessed with had been put in the girl and the leftovers in that damn brat.

"You came all the way to Aizu… Aren't you so persistent?"

"What?!"

Caught off guard, Kaoru's face crumpled with surprise and anger. His irritation sharpened Soji's smile. Progressing nonchalantly toward him, he continued, sinking his words like blades in the young boy's torn pride.

"Oh, that's right… You wanted to kill Chizuru."

"SHUT UP!"

Touché.

"Shut up Okita! What do you know?!"

The blades crossed. Again and again. His strikes were drenched in pure rage. Soji remembered too late how worn out his body was. He could only block. But contrary to his opponent, rage wasn't blurring his vision. When the first opening appeared, he threw himself into it, forcing Kaoru to jump back. His body refused to cooperate any longer.

A terrible cough stopped him in his track, staining his fingers with thick warm blood. So much; it overflowed with a disgusting sound.

"What's wrong Okita?!"

Kaoru's battle cry ironically saved his life.

Dodging the cut that would have split his skull in half, he barely blocked and pulled back. More red came into his eyes, a stinging pain burning his forehead. The young demon charged again, his voice scraping in anger.

Everything was suddenly distant.

"You stole Chizuru from me!"

Chizuru.

The name pierced the mist. Like a ray of light. Like the sun she was. All the memories came back at once. Not only of her but of everyone.

Kondo was dead.

Heisuke was dead.

Sanan was dead.

Hijikata was nowhere to be found.

Harada and Shinpachi had disappeared for months.

Saito was torn by days and days of fight.

He was nothing more than an empty shell.

And Chizuru was certainly drowning in despair and sorrow, thinking about how lost and destroyed their little band was. The mere thought of her crying somewhere was the last straw.

Someone had to pay.

Before he knew it, Kaoru's small form was at his feet, blood pouring from his mouth. When his eyes rose, they froze in terror.

"You know… I really hate you."

Soji raised his arm without thinking about it, his face stuck somewhere between his usual smile and pure disdain.

"That's why I will cut you down right here."

The blade fell. Red rain coated the ground.

* * *

"Soji!"

"I'm fine… I've handled worse than that…"

It was a reflex now. So many people had rushed to his side, eaten up by concern. Complete strangers sometimes. His reaction was always the same: turning around, hiding his pain and gesture them to go away. But this time he stood still. Saito knew enough about his state, he would not come any closer. But more than anything, he would not pity him.

His emerald eyes locked onto his own hand. It was so covered in red that skin wasn't visible anymore. The strange bliss that had blessed him before was gone, flying away with Kaoru's life.

 _The end is near._

The sentence echoed once again in his head like the chime of a bell, louder than it had ever been, shaking his thoughts one last time. Hijikata was gone, far away, maybe with Chizuru. He was gone and would not return until the end of the war. He was gone, not to run away from everyone, but to honor the promise he made to Kondo and by extension, the promise he made to everyone.

To every single one of them.

The end, the real end, was with him. The end of the war, the end of the era, the end of the Shinsengumi remained in Hijikata's hands. Like a raging fire, it would destroy everything, leaving nothing but ashes for the future to bloom in. Like thousands of flowers.

And for that, everything had to fade away. Even him.

"I guess Hijikata wasn't that bad after all."

A quiet smile appeared on his lips as he closed his eyes. It was for the best really. He would not be a big loss, quite the contrary in fact. And now that he was thinking about it…

This end…

The new future it would bring…

Would be a wonderful gift for her.


End file.
